This article is written from a personal viewpoint and all statements made are either correct at the time of publication or an expression of opinion.

It’s monstrous to see a mother carry on like the proverbial headless chook when confronted with low functioning Autism and is “content” to give up instead of trying to find the source of their child’s sensory overload. But Feda Almaliti was something worse than that – she had a business that relies on the low functioning to survive!

I came across this foolish woman – who as an aside appeared from her picture on Facebook and on LinkedIn to be a Muslim – in the comments on a Psychology Today article about guardianship by Amy Lutz. Established enemy Jonathan Mitchell used it to prove (incorrectly of course) that neurodiversity stinks. I went in and spoke to Amy about the subject matter but then I saw this woman’s comment and I jumped on it – and here is the argument with her comments in red and mine in blue starting with her initial remark;

My son is SEVERELY impacted by his autism and no one would be happier on this earth for my son to “blog” than me. Have I given him the tools and every opportunity that I can think of…Hell yes! AND I will continue to provide him with every opportunity I can.

But comparing me to a Slave master is beyond a horrible thing to say. If anything. I have become a slave (along with my family) to this horrible disorder called autism. My sons autism is NOT a “gift” and for anyone that thinks it is. Come watch him for a day…I live in Fremont, California.

Okay I’m pulling you up on this, Feda. The instant you hate on Autism like you are, you’re hating on you son – and he knows it! That’s why you are having trouble. He thinks you hate him! How old is he? Have you discovered the source of his sensory overload yet? Obviously you haven’t and you need to start by forgetting about giving him the opportunities you want. He doesn’t want to be in your world. You need to go to his if you want to get through to him.

But – it does depend on his age. And you can NOT do it alone. Don’t try. You need help and lots of it. Autism IS a gift – I know, I am Autistic and I’ve made it work for me to the best of my ability. You’re not a slave. What you said about guardianship is right, but let’s pull back that hate speech hmmm? It’s hurting your son and you need to lose that attitude if you want to help him.

I didn’t hate on my son! I hate autism. And why shouldn’t I. When my mom had cancer I hated her cancer.

I assure you hating his disorder doesn’t mean I hate him. I have nothing but an abundance of love and compassion for my son. There is NOTHING that I wouldn’t do for him.

I stand firmly behind my statement that sons autism is NOT a gift. But my son absolutely is….because he’s my child.

p.s. I know about sensory overload

If you hate Autism you hate your son. That is from his point of view and I know it because I am Autistic. I understand our thinking. You don’t. He hates you, because he thinks you hate him because you hate Autism. That’s a sensory overload right there to start with. He’s not seeing any love from you. He’s only seeing hate – because you hate Autism.

That is the way that it works.

Like I said – lose the attitude, and you’ll help him straight away. And you didn’t answer my question about his age.

The brain is a biological organ. When a person has a stroke is that a gift? Is meningitis a gift?

I guess heart defects should be called gifts too.

I notice you didn’t comment on cancer being a gift. (My mom had colon cancer btw) I’m sure people with colon cancer are grateful when they get it.

Look, There are some people with autism that are truly gifted and I’m not knocking on anyone that wants to call their autism a gift. But don’t get pissy that I don’t believe it’s a gift because you do. I didn’t malign you, but you certainly went out of your way to say that my speech was hateful. Its not! It’s my reality. I will be my sons caretaker for the rest of my existence and I worry every night about what is going to happen to him when I gone.

Diseases are not gifts (eg meningitis or cancer). Neither is any actual body damage (stroke or heart defect). Autism is neither of these. It is a difference – a difference that commands respect and a difference that you are hating on. Your reality is without realising it, you are hurting your son. He sees the hate and thinks you hate him. You are maligning him behind his back here and I’m calling you out on it. That’s the reality. You aren’t treating Autism with respect so of course you won’t see it as a gift. That’s hate right there. Your son may have missed the boat (again I need to know the age of your son to know for sure and still you refuse to provide this critical information) but who’s fault is that? I don’t know the answer to that at present, but have you sought help? Or have you tried to do this on your own? If you’ve done the latter then you’ve blown it, unless there is no support where you are in which case it’s the system’s fault – and you should be pulling for change instead of carrying on like you’ve been trapped in a life you don’t want and just sitting on your thumbs, complaining and hating.

At this point Jill Escher got involved (see the article about her) and I thought I’d chased Almaliti off. No such luck. She got involved in another conversation which started with this observation to that other person from me;

Christie, “formula” is NOT a simple thing. Now you’re the one jumping the gun. The formula I speak of IS complex – because it has an infinite number of variations. The issue is parents are looking for a simple formula as distinct from a complex one, and that’s the problem because that’s lazy and desperate – and it leads to even more problems and that’s what people like myself and ASAN are trying to stop as that automatically leads to hate. And I’ve seen too much of that in various forms (BS like Escher’s, the Vaccine myth and so on) to accept a perspective that is inherently negative.

Now first of all do NOT define neurodiversity as a rights group. That’s falling for the negativity trap from the get go. Neurodiversity has only one definition – brain difference. It means or refers to nothing else.

Next, what you don’t seem to get is if Autism is treated correctly from the get go – and yes that’s not easy as I have said – you COULD have a genius on your hands. It’s not without foundation that the label of Autism has been applied to the likes of Einstein, Newton, Mozart, Beethoven, Curie (yes a female even gets a gig) and others like them. Brilliant – and history makers. If there was no Autism we wouldn’t be as advanced as we are technologically and scientifically. That’s called adjustment. If one doesn’t adjust you get either low functioning Autistics who have to be looked after for life, or you get higher functioning going mad in various ways – worst case scenario; Adam Lanza and Sandy Hook.

There is one perspective that can NEVER EVER be accepted, and that is the perspective that identifies Autism as a scourge to be eliminated. It’s not something to love – life is not easy no matter what sort of person you are. It’s a human trait to be adjusted to, not as a choice but as a necessity.

Please…my son has gotten the correct treatment from the get go and will never have a kid who is even close to a genius on my hands. And to follow your logic I can assure you 110% that he won’t be an Adam Lanza type either if he didn’t get the “right treatment”. How dare you say that it’s the parents fault for not providing their children for the best treatment they can. That IS hateful (to use your words.

Perhaps your parents didn’t get the you the “right treatment” from the get go…since you keep “perseverating” on the same issue.

Your son is low functioning, correct? Correct. Therefore you did NOT find the right treatment. Is that your fault? I don’t know but you aren’t helping your case by continuing to not tell me how old your child is. This is the THIRD time I’ve asked for that information. Also, as your son is low functioning of course he won’t be the next Adam Lanza. Lanza wasn’t low functioning. He was mid functioning and refused to accept his diagnosis, and therefore could not possibly have benefited from the correct treatment. As he refused it.

I got as close to the right treatment as I could for the time I grew up in and for the lack of diagnosis until I was 31. If I’d got the wrong treatment I wouldn’t be where I am now.

Your rhetoric is hateful. Mine is realistic and correct due to the lack of valid information that contradicts it. Your information does not contradict it, and your negativity needs to stop and stop now because it’s harming your son.

My son is 12 and was diagnosed when he was 16 months. Any other questions?

I also believe that treatment is not just to improve functioning but also can be used to maintain functioning. And thus I’m always going to be on the boat, bus, train, car, even horseback (yeah believe it or not I actually tried that too).

Now get off your soapbox and stop chastising parents who are doing the best the can dealing with their kids who are severe enough that they don’t fly “under the rader”!

You don’t know me or my son and make broad sweeping statements. How about this for a broad statement since you seem to enjoy spewing them so much. YOU are harming MY son! And if you think I’m going to let you and “your Ilk” speak on his behalf like u know his needs you have a whole other thing coming.

Never get between mama bear and her cub!

Right – treatment for nearly 11 years and still low functioning, right? Simple explanation – the treatment you are pursuing ISN’T WORKING! So you change it! Again and again until you find the right one. You don’t persist with the wrong treatment – that IS your fault! All I’m seeing here is excuses and a lack of understanding of what you are dealing with – so yes I WILL get in between the “mama bear and her cub” because you are doing the wrong thing! And you still have time to correct it although it’s fast running out. Do you have the courage to do that? You CAN STILL GET HIS FUNCTIONING UP! Don’t tell me you can’t – because you haven’t found the key yet. Find that key! And that means dumping the present treatment whatever that is!

And no I’m not going to get off my soapbox while a child on the Spectrum is in danger from a mother who is thinking with her gut and heart instead of her head! So called “parents” like you sicken me. And if I sicken you – I’ve got one word for you. GOOD! I’m here to sicken negligent parents who don’t really understand Autism and call them out. (said with a load of truthful but appropriate sarcasm)

Someone else barged in defending her and I forgot myself for the moment thinking it was Almaliti again. Here is what I said;

I’ve done some research and you are an insurance agent for the Autism Health Insurance Project, which supports speech and occupational therapy – and ABA. And nothing else. That’s a fail because NONE of those are appropriate for low functioning Autistics, especially ABA if it’s the aversive version (which should be banned). That’s fact.

You want realistic and constructive help? Sensory overload is the answer. Simple theory – yes. Tough and cumbersome in practice because it’s trial and error, hence why I said before that it’s not a simple formula. And you don’t want to know about it, because it affects your position as an insurance agent and your credibility. Doing the wrong thing demands judgment because someone is getting hurt by it – and in this case it’s your son being hurt! Stop the speech therapy. It’s useless. Stop the occupational therapy. It’s useless. Stop the ABA. That’s PROVEN useless. I know enough to know a neglectful parent when I see one.

Spread the treatment list to infinity for your project – or shut it down because it is useless. You are showing disdain for the origins of Autism, and that is the ultimate insult to all Autistics whether it be Julia mentioned in the OP, me or your son. I told you before to lose the attitude and I’m repeating it now. You’re out of line, you’re using Autism as a money spinner and you need to get out and get out now for the good of the Autistic community.

Any more and I may decide to speak to the authorities about your neglect. Pull you head in and start with other treatments. As I said the FACT (you said this yourself) that your son is low functioning after nearly 11 years SHOWS that your treatment regime is not working. CHANGE IT! Or it will be YOUR fault that your son REMAINS low functioning.

Live with that or be ignorant for the rest of your life. Your choice.

I’m not and never have been an insurance agent in my entire life.

I have fought insurance companies and helped pass laws to ensure that thousands of children in CA will not be denied medically necessary treatment for their autism.

We have been and still do sensory intergration therapy and if you really knew anything about it you’d know that it’s occupational therapists that provide it.

ABA is a teaching methodology . Everything is ABA. If you work I assume you wouldn’t go to work if you didn’t get paid. That’s ABA positive reinforcement. That’s pretty much the gist of ABA.

Now, ABA is not everyone’s cup of tea. I know that and it’s ok. I’m for whatever works for the child.

I’ve tried floortime as well BTW.

Get off your judgemental high horse.

You obviously don’t know what you are talking about when it comes to treatment , or being a parent of a child with autism, so I’m going to stop with the back and forth with you on this cause it’s endless and pointless.

And with that I bid you adeiu. Have a good life timelord.

Way to prove you are an Autistic enemy! For a start, you are a Director of Outreach at the Autism Health INSURANCE Project! You can sugar coat it all you want – that’s an agent!! I know what occupational therapy involves and indeed what sensory INTEGRATION therapy involves – and it DOESN’T WORK! Your son is the proof it doesn’t! Neither did ABA so you need to stop it! Floortime is aversion therapy and that’s out of line.

You need to stop changing your son at the base. You need to start identifying the sensory overload (SIT won’t do that – it’s designed to integrate to what is “normal” sensory behaviour, and there is no normal in the Autistic Spectrum) and remove it. Finding it is the hard part but you won’t do that. You want to pull your son into society. No – you do not pull him to you. You go to him. Finding the overload is the way to start that process.

And as you think this is pointless – you have the blinkers on and aren’t willing to learn of your mistakes because you don’t have the courage to face that fact. It is fact – because despite everything you’ve done, your son is still low functioning after nearly 11 years. That means either you haven’t done enough, the system hasn’t done enough, or both. Or you, the system, or both are doing the wrong thing.

I have every right to make that judgment. Because your attitude threatens the rights of Autistics by downplaying and restricting the treatment options, and that can not go unchallenged on the public domain and within the realms of free speech.

According to her LinkedIn account;

Autism Health Insurance Project, Inc., a 501 (c3) Public Benefit Corporation is advocating and working with families, providers, therapists, ABA agencies, regional centers and other autism organizations.

We are committed to helping your children or clients get the coverage they deserve, so that you can focus on giving them the love and services they need to realize their potential.

And yet this witch had no clue how to help her own son?? How could someone who had no idea advocate for anything except the very hate that I called her out for?? At this point on the available evidence, all this woman would do is provide help for the low functioning long term and do NOTHING EFFECTIVE for the young children – given her own failure in this area! And she was bound to be taking money as an insurance agent for it all so she stood to make more money the more low functioning Autistics there were! See where I’m going here? No real commitment to real potential to be a part of the community, despite the claim otherwise (typical advertising)!

I found a story from November 2008 (when her son would have about 3 years old) when Almaliti was demanding an insurance company pay for her son’s treatment and took it to court and won on the grounds that speech therapy, occupational therapy and ABA were “medically necessary”. So what about finding the source of the sensory overload? NONE of those treatments will do that! This backs up my previous point.

I said at the time I uploaded this article that if you see this woman trying to advocate for Autism, tell her to get a high colonic and then go on a ten mile hike (with full pack). She was (and remains) an enemy of Autism and her son needed to be taken into care for his own protection. And such an action would have had nothing whatsoever to do with her being a Muslim. There is no religious barrier to being an idiot or a hater.

In late September 2020, Almaliti and her son died in a house fire. Naturally this was a tragedy but every cloud has a silver lining and it opens the door for anything she did to change the law re ABA to be reversed as it should be.

PHIL GLUYAS